***Note: No offense, medical professionals! I have lots of friends & family in the health care field. But in my now extensive experience (at every single ER around Tucson), all ERs suck big time!***

Things I would like to say to the ER staff:

“Hey, how about you do your F-ing job(s)!?!”

“Excuse me, I know that there’s a general policy for everything in an ER to move at the speed of molasses, but some of us are over here having ACTUAL medical emergencies that really do require some attention.”

“I hate you.”

“Clearly this is above your pay grade. How about you stop playing doctor and call in a specialist.”

“Oh, I’m sorry….I thought doctors were supposed to actually read the patient’s chart before walking into the room so I don’t have to retell the same story to 100 people who just can’t be bothered to do their jobs!”

Note – all the specialists we have dealt with have been great (as are all the nurses and assisting staff for in-patient care). But having to go through the ER to get admitted to the hospital is the worst. THE WORST! I hate them all. Seriously. 95% of them are totally incompetent too.

“Ummm, do you actually have a medical degree or did you do one of those online colleges???”

“Just to reiterate….I hate you!”