When I was young my mom was a stay-at-home-mom. At the time, I never knew about the whole working-Mom vs. SAHM controversy. You know – how there are often schools of thought that think one is better than the other and its basically a very touchy subject for all.

I remember the anxiety it caused my Mom on one particular Mother’s Day Sunday. See, in our church there was not just a regular “sermon” from a preacher or priest on Sundays. Instead, the head of the congregation would select people ahead of time and ask them to prepare a talk on a given topic. My mom was asked to talk on Mother’s Day about the importance/value of being a SAHM.

I remember wondering what her anxiety was all about. I loved having her at home with me and my siblings! What’s the problem with talking about how amazing it is/was???

And even as I grew into an adult I never really gave the “controversy” much thought. That is….until I became a Mom.

There’s something biological that goes on when you have a baby. Maybe its hormones; maybe its a whole changing physiology. Who knows. All I know is that I had been going to school for 20+ years (6 years post-bachelors) to receive a doctorate degree that I now didn’t even want. I didn’t even want to finish school. Honestly, if I’d had the girls 2 years ago I probably would have just quit the program. It was only by the fact that I was already *thisclose* to being done when the girls arrived that allowed me to persevere, push-through and finish up.

And now here I am, a year after their birth. I’ve got a B.A. & M. A. in Psychology and a Ph.D. in Family Studies and Human Development. And what do I have to show for it????

A load of student loan debt.

And not much else.

When I first had the girls I had NO desire to work. I had to really force myself to do so. It was not easy.

But now that I’ve gained a little bit of distance from their birth, I’m again looking toward employment options. Both because of necessity (ahem*student.loan.debt*ahem), but also because I really do truly love what I do. At this exact moment in time I’m a SAHM. It’s not really out of choice, but out of circumstance (the circumstance being that I graduated, but have no job on the horizon). I’m trying to soak up every minute I have with the girls. Enjoy all of our summer fun and play time. But when the time comes that I find a job (and, trust me, I’ve been applying left and right) I think and hope I’ll be ready for that transition, too.

If I’m lucky I’ll have the best of both worlds. I’ll be able to enjoy some time as a SAHM, and yet also make an income to help provide for our family (this burden is solely on Chris right now). My ultimate profession of choice would be landing a job as a college professor where I would have this luxury by being able to work 9 months a year, having summers (as well as a short winter break) off with the girls.

So if anyone knows anyone….or can pull any strings…..you know where I’m at!

In the meantime, I’m hanging out with my girls – having loads of playtime at home together.

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