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I always thought I’d be an easy-going pregnant lady. I’ve heard stories of people going batty, but I never thought it would happen to me.

Recently, I got the book “Belly Laughs” by Jenny McCarthy from the library. She has a whole chapter titled “Psycho Chick.”  Allow me to share a brief passage:

“If I had been offered a movie role when I was pregnant, I could’ve played an amazing Psycho Chick. The first trimester is when Jenny “cuckoo in the head” first showed up for work. And she honestly scared the crap out of my husband. He thought he had lost me forever. And I thought I’d lost myself. The thing is, you know what you’re saying is crazy. You are very aware that you’re screaming and the veins in your face are pulsating, and it’s all over something as stupid as running out of mayonnaise. But knowing that you’re being crazy and doing anything to stop yourself are two very different things.”

So let me share with you my very first experience with my own inner psycho chick:

I had been out of town for 4 days in San Diego for a work-related conference. Just prior to leaving I’d stocked the fridge and freezer full of groceries. I returned on a Saturday and sometime Sunday afternoon or evening I decided I wanted to make myself a bowl of ice cream from the freezer. I rememberd that before going out of town I’d bought a delicious-looking bag of chocolate chips…but not just any choc. chips. It was a bag of half chocolate and half peanut butter chips. I knew this would be the perfect ice cream topper. So I made my little bowl, all excited. I went to the freezer to get some choc/pb chips….only to discover that Chris had demolished the ENTIRE bag over the span of time that I’d been out of town. I didn’t get to try even a single chocolate/peanut butter chip morsel.

I freaked out. I ran shreaking like a wild banshee toward Chris, “WHERE ARE THE CHOCOLATE CHIPS!??!!! DID YOU SERIOUSLY EAT ALL OF THEM!!???”

He could tell from my voice that he should be scared. He’d been laying on the couch and sat up, protecting his vital organs. He knew not to tell me that he’d eaten them all. Instead, his reply: “Well….um…I think they’re gone.”

Me:  THEY’RE GONE?!? WTF DOES THAT MEAN??? YOU ATE AN ENTIRE BAG OF CHOCOLATE CHIPS IN 4 DAYS???

Chris (timidly): I thought you got them for me???

Me: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???? (at this point I start pummeling him with body shots as hard as I can) WHAT WOULD POSSESS YOU TO EAT AN ENTIRE BAG OF CHOCOLATE CHIPS WHEN I DIDN’T GET A SINGLE ONE??!?!

(pretty sure I was red-faced with veins bulging)

I continued yelling and furiously beating at him until I tired myself out. At that point, we had a looooong conversation about how, for the entire duration of my pregnancy, he is NEVER to eat the last of ANYTHING in the fridge or freezer. I think we’ve now reached an agreement and psycho chick hasn’t had to resurface. : )

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